Poetry style joke Love of an Old Couple in hindi

1 budha aya sath me 1 budhiya laya
Hotel me ja k waiter ko bulaya
Dono ne apna-apna order mangaya
Pehle budhe ne khayaa
budhiya ne pankha hilaya
Fir budhiya ne khayaa
budhe ne pankha hilaya
Ye dekh k Waiter sharmayaa or usne farmaya
Aye Laila Majnu k Maa Baap
Tum dono me itna pyar hai to khana 1 sath Q nhi khaya
Is pr budhe ne farmaya
'Jaani' tera sawal to nek hai
Pr hamare pas Daanto ka  sirf 1 hi set hai....................

A fantastic joke based on interview.

Officer : What Is Your Name?
Candidate : M P. Sir!
Officer : Tell Me Properly.
Candidate : Mohan Pal Sir.
Officer : Your Father's Name ?
Candidate : M P. Sir!
Officer : What Does That Mean ?
Candidate : Manmohan Pal Sir!
Officer : Your Native Place.
Candidate : M P. Sir!
Officer : Is It Madhya Pradesh ?
Candidate : No, Munnur Pal Sir!
Officer : What Is Your Qualification?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : (Angrily) What Is It?
Candidate : Metric Pass
Officer : Why Do You Need A Job ?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : And What Does That Mean ?
Candidate : Money ProblemSir.
Officer : Describe Your Personality.
Candidate : M P. Sir.
Officer : Explain Yourself Clearly.
Candidate : Magnanimous Personality Sir.
Officer : This Discussion Is Now over, You May Go Now.
Candidate : M P. Sir.
Officer : What Is It Now?
Candidate : My Performance.... ­?
Officer : Mp !!!
Candidate : What Is That Sir..?
Officer : Mentally Puncture.
By-Mr B.K.Verma

POEM IN MEMORIES OF CHILDHOOD (HINDI)

EK BACHPAN KA JAMANA THA.
KHUSHIO KA KHAJANA THA.
CHAHAT THI CHAND KO PAANEE KI,DIL TITLIYON KA DIWANA THA.
KHABAR NA THI KVI SUBAH KI AUR NA HI SAAM KA THIKANA THA.
THAK HAR K AANA SCHOOL SE, PER BAHAR KHELNE V JANA THA.
DADI KI KAHANI THI,PARIO KA FASANA THA.
BARISH MAI KAGAJ KI NAAV THI,HAR MAUSAM SUHANA THA.
HAR KHEL MAI SAATHI THEY, HAR RISTA NIBHANA THA.
GAM KI JUBAN NA THI NA HI KHUSHION KA PAIMANA THA.
RONE KI WAJAH NA THI,NA HASNE KA BAHANA THA............
        AB NAHI RAHI WO JINDGI JAISA BACHPAN KA JAMANA THA,
                                    JAISA BACHPAN KA JAMANA THA,.
JAISA BACHPAN KA JAMANA THA.................

ROMANTIC QUOTE TO SAY GOOD NIGHT

‎"Night is longer than day for those who dream and day is longer than night for those who make their dream come true."
"I have scientifically concluded that without you my bed is just a bed. With you it's heaven."
"You are the reason why I have sleepless nights. You are the reason why I tend to hold my pillow tight. And you are the reason I can't sleep without saying goodnight."

SAMSUNG GALAXY GRAND

        NEW SAMSUNG GALAXY GRAND


GENERAL 2G Network GSM 850 / 900 / 1800 / 1900 3G Network HSDPA 850 / 1900 / 2100   HSDPA 900 / 1900 / 2100 SIM Mini-SIM Announced 2012, December Status Coming soon. Exp. release 2013, Q1 BODY Dimensions 143.5 x 76.9 x 9.6 mm (5.65 x 3.03 x 0.38 in) Weight 162 g (5.71 oz) DISPLAY Type Capacitive touchscreen, 16M colors Size 480 x 800 pixels, 5.0 inches (~187 ppi pixel density) Multitouch Yes   - TouchWiz UI SOUND Alert types Vibration; MP3, WAV ringtones Loudspeaker Yes 3.5mm jack Yes MEMORY Card slot microSD, up to 64 GB Internal 8 GB, 1 GB RAM DATA GPRS Yes EDGE Yes Speed HSDPA, 21 Mbps; HSUPA, 5.76 Mbps WLAN Wi-Fi 802.11 a/b/g/n, dual-band, Wi-Fi hotspot Bluetooth Yes, v4.0 with A2DP, LE, EDR USB Yes, microUSB v2.0 CAMERA Primary 8 MP, 3264x2448 pixels, autofocus, LED flash Features Geo-tagging, touch focus, face and smile detection, image stabilization Video Yes, 1080p@30fps Secondary Yes, 2 MP FEATURES OS Android OS, v4.1.2 (Jelly Bean) CPU Dual-core 1.2 GHz Sensors Accelerometer, gyro, proximity, compass Messaging SMS(threaded view), MMS, Email, Push Mail, IM, RSS Browser HTML5 Radio Stereo FM radio with RDS GPS Yes, with A-GPS, support and GLONASS Java Yes, via Java MIDP emulator Colors Black, White   - Active noise cancellation with dedicated mic - SNS integration - MP4/WMV/H.264/H.263 player - MP3/WAV/eAAC+/AC3/FLAC player - Organizer - Image/video editor - Document viewer - Google Search, Maps, Gmail, YouTube, Calendar, Google Talk, Picasa - Voice memo/dial/commands - Predictive text input BATTERY Li-Ion 2100 mAh battery

ARRAY

Array is a collection of elements or index of same data type,identified by a single or common name.

Declearing an array.
-------------------------------
<Data type><Array Name>[Array Size]
EX.----
begin
  Numeric Num[3]
Display'Enter three nos'
accept i
if
arr[0]>arr[1]
arr[0]>arr[2]and
begin
Display arr[0]
Else if
arr[1]>arr[2]
arr[1]>arr[0]and
begin
Display arr[1]
Else
Displayarr[2]
end
end
end
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
EX.-


begin
numeric arr[5],i,j
for(i=0;i<5;i++)
begin
Display'Enter a number'
accept arr[i]
end
for(j=0;j<5;j++)
begin
display arr[j]
end
end

Accessing Data Anywhere

Working with skydrive

Step 1: Configure the skydrive

We need to follow these steps to configure SkyDrive application

1. Press the Windows key.

2. Click the SkyDrive  tile.

3. After a few moments, the Sign in with a Microsoft account screen is displayed.

4. Type the Microsoft account id, in the Email address text box.

5. Type the password,  in the Password text box.

6. Click the Sign in button. After a few moments, the home screen of the

account is displayed.

7. Press the Windows key.

8. Click the Desktop tile to view the Desktop.

9. Click the Windows Explorer icon on the taskbar.

10. Select the Documents node from the left pane.

11. Click the Home tab.

12. Click the New Folder button from the New group.

13. Type Your Docs, and then press the Enter key.

14. Double-click the Your Docs folder.

15. Click the Home tab.

16. Click the New item drop-down list, and then select Text Document.

17. Type schedule, and then press the Enter key.

18. Double-click the schedule text document, and then type the following lines:

Monday: New Town Hall`

Time: 14:00

Person to meet: Mark Peter

19. Press the Ctrl+S keys.

20. Close the schedule-Notepad window.

21. Close the Your Docs window.

22. Press the Windows key.

23. Click the SkyDrive tile.

24. Click the Documents tile.

25. Right-click anywhere on the empty screen, and then select Add from the contextual options

displayed at the bottom of the screen.

26. Click the your Docs tile.

27. Select the schedule text document, and then click the Add to SkyDrive button. After a few moments, the Documents folder on your SkyDrive is displayed.

28. Right-click anywhere on the empty screen to hide the contextual options.

29. Click the Back button at the top-left corner of the screen.

30. Close the your’s SkyDrive screen.

Step 2: Using the skydrive application

1. Open the Web browser.

2. Type www.hotmail.com in the address bar, and then press the Enter key. The home page of the Hotmail website is displayed.

3. Type the Microsoft id, such as someone@example.com in text box.

4. Type the password of your Microsoft Id, in the Password text box.

5. Click the Sign in button. After a few moments, the home page of your Microsoft account is displayed.

6. Click the SkyDrive link, which is at the top of the home page. The SkyDrive folder of your Microsoft account is displayed.

7. Click the Documents tile. Here, you can see that the file that you have created on your computer system is accessible from your Microsoft account, despite of the fact that which machine is being used by you.

8. Click the schedule text document. The contextual options are displayed at the bottom of the web browser.

9. Click the Save button. After a few moments, the file will get downloaded at your computer system. Once the file gets downloaded, the contextual options are displayed at the bottom of the Web browser.

10. Click the Open button. You can see the text of the document that you have entered in it.

11. Close the schedule text document.

12. Logout from your Microsoft account.

13. Press the Windows key.

14. Click the Internet Explorer tile.

15. Click the tile displaying the user at the top-right corner. A pop-up menu is displayed.

16. Select the Sign out option.

17. Close the Web browser

CYBERLAW HACKERS AND CRACKERS

CYBERLAW HACKERS AND CRACKERS

Cyberlaw is a generic term which refers to all the legal and regulatory aspects of Internet and the world wide web.

Internet is believed to be full of anarchy and a system of law and regulation therein seems contradictory. However cyberspace is being governed by a system of law and regulation called Cyberlaw. There is no one exhaustive definition of the term”Cyberlaw”. Simply speaking anything concerned with or releated to or emanating from any legal aspectsor issues concerning  any activity of netizens and others in cyberspace comes within the ambit of cyberlaw.The growth of Electronic Commerce has propelled the need for vibrant and effective regulatory mechanisms which would further strengthen the legal infrastructure ,so crucial to the success of electronics commerce . All these regulatory and mechanism and legal infrastructure comes within the domain of CyberLaw.

Hacker is a slang term for a computer enthusiast e.g- a person who enjoys learning programming languages and computer systems and can often be considered an expert on the subject/s. Among professional programmers, depending on how it used, the term can be either complimentary or derogatory, although it is developing an increasingly derogatory connotation. Hackers, themselves, maintain that the proper term for such individuals is Crackers. Although hackers still argue that there is a big difference between what they do and what crackers do, the mass media has failed to understand the distinction, so the two terms- Hack and Crack- are often used interchangeably.

Simply we can say that the crackers are the malicious programmers who break into secure systems whereas hackers are more interested in gaining knowledge about computer systems and possibly using this knowledge for playful pranks.  

WEB HOSTING

     

WEB  HOSTING

Introduction  -

   Web hosting is a means of hosting web server application on a computer system through which electronic content on the internet is readily available to any web-browser client.

The computer system providing the web-hosting is known as web-server or the web host.

Basically, the web hosts allow their customers to place web documents, such as html pages,

Graphics,and other multimedia files etc. onto a special tpe of computer called a web server, which

Maintains constant, high speed connections to the backbone of Internet.

One can choose from various types of web hosting services. Broadly web hosting can be

Categorized into following four categories:-

(1)     Free Hosting:-This type of hosting is available with many prominent sites that offer to host some web pages for no cost. Examples of such sites are: geocities, tripod etc.  Free is for fun. If you want to experiment with a site or put up a small, personal site for the fun of it, a free package will suffice.

(2)    Virtual or Shared Hosting:-This type of hosting is provided under one’s own domain name, www.yourname.com. With a hosting plan with the web hosting company, one can present oneself as a fully independent identity to his/her web audience. Virtual hosting is where one’s web site domain is hosted on the web server of hosting company along with other web sites. One can access and update to the site and its files are carefully secured. Through a logon-id and password, one has 24-hour access to maintain one’s site.     Go “shared” if you are serious about doing some business or have a professional website that is much better off “standing on its own.” Or if you simply prefer your own domain name and space.  

(3)    Dedicated Hosting:-In this type of hosting, the company wishing to go online, rents an entire web server from a hosting company. This is suitable for companies hosting larger web sites, maintaining others’ sites or managing a big online mall etc.    Dedicated is for large, high-traffic sites, or for those with special needs such as e-commerce or security. They are also good for those folks for whom money is no object. 

(4)    Co-location Hosting:-For those who do not fit the dedicated-server mold, hosting companies offer a similar, but less-restrictive hosting, known as co-location hosting. In this type of hosting, the company actually owns the server on which its site is hosted. That is, the company owning the site rather than the web hosting company is responsible for all server administration. The web-hosting-company is only responsible for providing rack-space for server and meeting its physical needs. This generally includes a high speed connection to the Internet, a regulated power supply, and a limited amount of hands-on-technical-support, such as data backup or hardware upgrades.  Co-location hosting is similar to that of dedicated hosting except for the fact that the server is now provided by the user-company itself and its physical needs and for those who require the ability to make changes as per its changing requirement as and when.      

CAREER AVENUES IN IT INDUSTRY

Where can You fit in ?

q Graphic Designing

q Networking and Communication

q Software Testing

q IT Enabled Services

q System implementation

q Technical support

q Technical writing

q Web Application

q IT education & training

q Maintenance programming

q MIS operations

q Programming

q Sales & marketing

                                            IN  SOFTWARE TESTING

Testing the software under development

Recording the errors & recommending solutions

Auditing software development processes

Knowledge of software development & testing

methodologies

Knowledge of quality processes like ISO & SEI

IN IT ENABLED SERVICES YOU CAN DO….

qMedical Transcription

qCall Centres

qBack Office Operations

qInsurance Claims Processing

qGeographical Information Services

qEngineering Data Conversion

qClaims Processing

qPortfolio Management Services for the insurance industry

qWeb content development

qWebsite maintenance

IN NETWORKING & COMMUNICATION

Planning & execution of network system

Support & servicing of networks & system connectivity

Assist network users with problem troubleshooting

Installation & configuration of communication products to both internal & external clients

Installation & administration of e-mail across the

Organization.

       WEB APPLICATION

qDesign & development of Web sites

qMaintenance & support of dynamic, database-driven online service

Web programming skills in areas like HTML, DHTML, Java, JavaScript, ActiveX Controls and VRML

Basics of Programming for beginners

Introduction

Computer programming is a set of instructions through which one tells

the computer to do the desired task. This set of instructions written in

human readable computer language is called Source Code. Every program

has two parts namely code and data. There are two models of

programming namely Structured Programming and Object Oriented

Programming. In Structured Programming codes are executed one after

one in a serial fashion. Example for this is ‘C’ Language. In object

oriented programming, data is accessed through objects. There is no

single flow. Here objects freely interact with one another by passing

messages.

Problem Solving Techniques

To develop the solution for the given problem, the following programming

techniques are used.

Problem solving techniques

i) Algorithm-

Algorithm is a step by step procedure to solve any problem.

ii) Flow Charts-

Flow Chart is a graphical represantation of the steps involved in a programme.

iii) Pseudo codes-

These are the instructions written in ordinary English using

mathematical and logical symbols to display the program logic.

iv) Decision Tables-

A decision table consists of many independent conditions with several

actions, written in table format to solve the given problem.

Properties of an Algorithm

i. Finiteness: An algorithm must always terminate after a finite

number of steps.

ii. Definiteness: Each step must be clearly defined that actions

carried out must be unambiguous.

iii. Input: Input should be provided at the beginning of algorithm.

iv. Output: Algorithm must produce on or more output.

v. Effectiveness: All the operations defined must be sufficiently basic

that they can be done exactly in finite length of time manually.

Basic Statements Used and Examples

i. Algorithm always begins with the word ‘Start’ and ends with the word

‘Stop’

ii. Step wise solution is written in distinguished steps. This is as shown in

example 1

Start

Step 1:

Step 2:

Step 3:

.

.

.

Step n:

End

Ex.:- Calculate the greater number between three numbers.

Ans.-

1. Start the Algorithm.

2. Take three numbers from the user.

3. If the first number greater than second number and the first number is greater than the third number, then display first number is greatest.

4. Else if second number is greater than first number and first number is greater than third number,then display second number is greatest.

5. Else third number is greatest.

6. Stop the algorithm

GETTING START WITH WINDOWS8

Windows8 was released on 29thfebruary 2012.Microsoft released it for used on personal computers also included home and business desktops,laptops,tablets etc. Really you can say that it is fantastic among all operating systems.

New and changed features

New features and functionality in Windows 8 include a faster startup through UEFI integration and the new "Hybrid Boot" mode (which hibernates the Windows kernel on shutdown to speed up the subsequent boot), a new lock screen with a clock and notifications, and the ability for enterprise users to create live USB versions of Windows.

Start button is no longer present on the taskbar, though the Start screen is still triggered by clicking the bottom-left corner of the screen and by clicking Start on the Charm bar.

Fast and Fluid: This feature provides life to Windows apps by adding animations to them. The fast and fluid animations act an integral part of the Windows 8 user experience. When you log on to your PC, the Apps in the Start screen animate in. In addition, when you launch a Windows app or zoom into the Start screen, the experience is enriched with a smooth animation. Animations help a user identify the result of a specific action. The word, Fast, in the term, Fast and Fluid, refers to a quick response to the user input. That means when the user interacts with an application, then the application should quickly respond to the user action and should be ready to receive more user inputs. 

NEW START SCREEN 

The new Start Screen has revolutionized the way a user can access applications and information on Windows 8. It is a tile-based screen, which can be configured as per the user’s needs. A user can configure and decide: 

The tiles that needs to be displayed. 

The location and size of the tiles. 

In addition, these tiles can display live information, such as weather forecast, news updates, and emails. 

MANAGING START SCREEN

To manage tiles, you need to perform the following steps: 

1. Press the Windows key. The Start screen is displayed. 

2. Right-click the Internet Explorer tile. 

3. Select the Unpin from Start option. The Internet Explorer tile will be removed from the Start screen. 

4. Press the Windows + C keys. The Charms bar is displayed. 

5. Click the Search charm. The Apps screen is displayed .

6. Type Internet Explorer in the Apps text box in the Search pane, which is located at the right-hand side of the Apps screen. The Internet Explorer app is displayed at the left-hand side of the Apps screen. 

7. Right-click the Internet Explorer tile. The contextual options will be displayed at the bottom of the screen. 

8. Select the Pin to Start option. 

9. Press the Windows key. The Start screen is displayed. 

10. Scroll right and locate the Internet Explorer tile. You have restored the Internet Explorer tile on the Start screen. 

11. Right-click the Internet Explorer tile.

12. Select the Unpin from taskbar option.

13. Click the Desktop tile. The Desktop screen is displayed.

14. Press the Windows key. The Start screen is displayed.

15. Right-click the Internet Explorer tile.

16. Select the Pin to taskbar option.

17. Click the Desktop tile. The Desktop screen is displayed.

18. Press the Windows key. The Start screen is displayed.

19. Right-click the Internet Explorer tile.

20. Select the Open new window option. The Internet Explorer app is displayed.

21. Press the Windows keys. The Start screen is displayed.

22. Right-click the Internet Explorer tile.

23. Right-click the Store tile.

24. Select the Clear selection option. The check marks will disappear from both the tiles.

25. Right-click the Internet Explorer tile.

26. Select the All apps option. The Apps screen is displayed.

27. Place the mouse cursor at the bottom-right corner of the screen. A – button is displayed.

28. Click the – button. All the tiles will be minimized in the alphabetical order.

29. Click on any tile. The Apps will be displayed normally.

30. Press the Windows key. The Start screen is displayed.